The eternal rocks beneath

“The perfect man for you is someone like Dalai Lama, but an asshole,” said Tuan. Presumably, he meant someone who was emotionally and spiritually developed like the Dalai Lama. Laid-back, but with the full capability of being a badass (not asshole—else, I can only imagine what my friends take me for).

Wolper's assignment to me was to write out a list, so that I may identify certain patterns. And while I fully understand the purpose of this assignment, I feel like we're placing too much undue emphasis on Chiik's romantic life. I farmed it out to Waldorf, who could probably come up with as good a list as if I had written it myself. Or better. Here's what she came up with (in no particular order):

• not scrawny or delicate—doesn't look like he's grown up in the shade with his collars up
• knows how to throw a ball
• is able to kick some ass when called for—won't let anyone take advantage of the people he loves, and can throw a punch to make sure no one does
• isn't a picky eater
• has strengths complementary to mine (e.g.: super-social)
• isn't immediately (or ever) completely understandable—can be an emotional/psychological challenge but also presents intrigue, even if it is in small ways
• isn't small-minded
• isn't a petty complainer
• is literate
• is settled enough in his life so that he can focus on me every once in a while

In all, the list is not bad. I think I'd add three more items:

• is ambitious—successful at what he does
• is even-tempered—does not fly into rages or uncontrollable bursts of anger
  
• is comfortable around the unconventional, but doesn't feel the need to prove it
  

During this exercise, Waldorf concluded that I want not Darcy but Heathcliff. Heathcliff never occurred to me as particularly literate or super-social. I am sure he wasn't a picky eater, although the book isn't explicit on that point. Right, silly. It must be that emotionally-challenged ass-kicking aspect that Waldorf refers—a troubling realization which leads me to ponder how far I must have fallen in her esteem, given her hatred of that novel and any person who aspires to or identifies with the two lovers.