Kara-nokay

I should come up with five good karaoke songs--know 'em, learn 'em, and practice them well. Just in case. The trick is to find something not too difficult, but will entertain your friends without appearing too much like the jackass. Just a teensy bit of practice at home could help you work out some of the kinks of performance so you needn't do that in front of real people, thereby avoiding some of the pitfalls of live karaoke.

1. Rap is hard. If you can't do it well, don't even think about trying. Especially if you look like a frat boy.

2. Mincing around in the spotlight does not necessarily transform you into Britney Spears. Nor is it cute, frankly. Also, Britney Spears should definitely not be sung by more than one person. Imagine a sixth-grade chorus singing "Toxic." That's what it sounds like.

3. People who sing badly can be funny, but not if you're doing it on purpose. Then it's just annoying.

4. Whiny songs are not fun. It. deadens the dynamics. And I don't care if you're a great vocal stylist, it's just really really boring.